I think why I became a better mother post-divorce and why I persist in wanting to always live separately from my partner is because getting a chance to miss them, to retreat into the solitary confines of myself regularly, makes the expansive, unbounded experience of loving them sweet rather than overwhelming. It allows me to love them and still remember who I am separate from them. And remember how to love her, too.
Post-divorce I had to first learn to fall in love with myself, and redefine my relationship with my semi-adult ish children as a single parent, rather than a co-anything. For years the solitude became my strength, the muscle I needed to build. Then more years passed, and the person I had become became willing to let down the drawbridge and begin again.
After so many years of marriage, cringing when I heard the garage door open, and wanting only to be alone? All I can say is it feels good to be on the other side.
‘To be in a relationship and in love with someone you don’t ever want to be apart from is nothing less than extraordinary. It’s a gift I will never take for granted, one I wish for everyone to experience—and sometimes, one needs a little bitter to taste all that is so, so sweet.’ This is so beautifully put! 💜
Tomato sandwiches is exactly what this season calls for!
and as often as possible 🍅
All these scraps, so nicely pieced together. This post checks all the boxes on my list.
why is it that lists (and check boxes) are so, so satisfying??
I think why I became a better mother post-divorce and why I persist in wanting to always live separately from my partner is because getting a chance to miss them, to retreat into the solitary confines of myself regularly, makes the expansive, unbounded experience of loving them sweet rather than overwhelming. It allows me to love them and still remember who I am separate from them. And remember how to love her, too.
I couldn’t agree more...
Post-divorce I had to first learn to fall in love with myself, and redefine my relationship with my semi-adult ish children as a single parent, rather than a co-anything. For years the solitude became my strength, the muscle I needed to build. Then more years passed, and the person I had become became willing to let down the drawbridge and begin again.
After so many years of marriage, cringing when I heard the garage door open, and wanting only to be alone? All I can say is it feels good to be on the other side.
‘To be in a relationship and in love with someone you don’t ever want to be apart from is nothing less than extraordinary. It’s a gift I will never take for granted, one I wish for everyone to experience—and sometimes, one needs a little bitter to taste all that is so, so sweet.’ This is so beautifully put! 💜
thank you Susannah ~ I may be a slow learner, but it’s amazing to finally get it right!