Wow that all makes for a terrifically poignant time of year for you then, when there are so many holidays one following the other. Especially hard I bet because your kids aren’t around to help make those holidays feel like yours anymore....I feel that.
And the short answer is yes, we did have a tree for some years after I met John and we got married, while he was still a practicing Catholic. But once he converted, and as the kids got older, we realized that we didn’t want to celebrate a secular version of Christmas. (Interestingly, I was raised with no religion (in fact a disdain for any religion ran strongly, for my mother especially) so the traditional Christian holidays we celebrated growing up were totally secularized. So I feel more like I “assumed” Judaism rather than “converted” to it!)
oh i really like the notion of “assuming” rather than “converting.” we never had a tree in the house when i was married, but we always went to my parents’ house (with our kids) for a traditional christmas. since i got divorced, i have gotten a tree ~ it’s extremely simple but there is something about being greeted by smell of pine and the lights in the darkness of december that i find incredibly soothing.
and in regards to the high holy days, i have found my own ways to reflect and honor their significance on Monhegan, allowing the island to be a temple all its own.
sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly we find our way.
Monhegan sounds like it is the ideal place to honor the High Holidays! Look forward to hearing how the retreat and Yom Kippur meld together to do just that.
I don't know a lot about Rosh Hashanah, but I've always been a fan of Passover. Even though it's been over 20 years since I've received an invitation for a gathering. There is so much in Judaism that is deeply moving. I hope you keep a hold of what moves you.
I couldn’t agree more—my favorite Jewish holiday is coming up, Yom Kippur. There is something about the possibility of collective reflection, atonement, and finding our way towards forgiveness that might speak to you.
This is a beautiful and meaningful piece Sarah, thank you! Like you I converted to Judaism when I was married the first time years ago, but have often thought that even though that marriage didn’t last, it was meant to be that I was introduced to Judaism. I’ve had the privilege of learning and living in it since then, along with raising two daughters and embracing with them all of the beautiful life cycle events that can be such an important part of being Jewish. And then was fortunate enough to marry a man who also decided to convert to Judaism after many years participating in my daughters’ and my Jewish lives and seeing much there that he felt was missing in his religion. And the High Holidays are such a poignant time to reflect on all of this and look forward to more opportunities for closeness and community in the year to come. Shana Tova! May the new year be a sweet one.
PS the bravery and resilience you demonstrated this past year is inspiring!
thank you so much for sharing your story ~ who knew we had so much in coming?
i never would have been open to the fullness of Judaism and the ways i have come to receive it as a spiritual practice without my marriage, and for that i will always be grateful. and of course, it’s complicated. isn’t everything?
the hardest part for me is the loss of family ~ i don’t have anyone to ever spend the holidays with as my family of origin is Protestant, and my children always celebrate with my ex-husband, so there is always a sadness around the holidays themselves.
i’m also curious if you ever have (or had) a tree in your home in december...
Wow that all makes for a terrifically poignant time of year for you then, when there are so many holidays one following the other. Especially hard I bet because your kids aren’t around to help make those holidays feel like yours anymore....I feel that.
And the short answer is yes, we did have a tree for some years after I met John and we got married, while he was still a practicing Catholic. But once he converted, and as the kids got older, we realized that we didn’t want to celebrate a secular version of Christmas. (Interestingly, I was raised with no religion (in fact a disdain for any religion ran strongly, for my mother especially) so the traditional Christian holidays we celebrated growing up were totally secularized. So I feel more like I “assumed” Judaism rather than “converted” to it!)
oh i really like the notion of “assuming” rather than “converting.” we never had a tree in the house when i was married, but we always went to my parents’ house (with our kids) for a traditional christmas. since i got divorced, i have gotten a tree ~ it’s extremely simple but there is something about being greeted by smell of pine and the lights in the darkness of december that i find incredibly soothing.
and in regards to the high holy days, i have found my own ways to reflect and honor their significance on Monhegan, allowing the island to be a temple all its own.
sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly we find our way.
Monhegan sounds like it is the ideal place to honor the High Holidays! Look forward to hearing how the retreat and Yom Kippur meld together to do just that.
I don't know a lot about Rosh Hashanah, but I've always been a fan of Passover. Even though it's been over 20 years since I've received an invitation for a gathering. There is so much in Judaism that is deeply moving. I hope you keep a hold of what moves you.
I couldn’t agree more—my favorite Jewish holiday is coming up, Yom Kippur. There is something about the possibility of collective reflection, atonement, and finding our way towards forgiveness that might speak to you.
Absolutely. Danya Ruttenberg writes a lot about it in her book on repentance.
This is a beautiful and meaningful piece Sarah, thank you! Like you I converted to Judaism when I was married the first time years ago, but have often thought that even though that marriage didn’t last, it was meant to be that I was introduced to Judaism. I’ve had the privilege of learning and living in it since then, along with raising two daughters and embracing with them all of the beautiful life cycle events that can be such an important part of being Jewish. And then was fortunate enough to marry a man who also decided to convert to Judaism after many years participating in my daughters’ and my Jewish lives and seeing much there that he felt was missing in his religion. And the High Holidays are such a poignant time to reflect on all of this and look forward to more opportunities for closeness and community in the year to come. Shana Tova! May the new year be a sweet one.
PS the bravery and resilience you demonstrated this past year is inspiring!
thank you so much for sharing your story ~ who knew we had so much in coming?
i never would have been open to the fullness of Judaism and the ways i have come to receive it as a spiritual practice without my marriage, and for that i will always be grateful. and of course, it’s complicated. isn’t everything?
the hardest part for me is the loss of family ~ i don’t have anyone to ever spend the holidays with as my family of origin is Protestant, and my children always celebrate with my ex-husband, so there is always a sadness around the holidays themselves.
i’m also curious if you ever have (or had) a tree in your home in december...